


Another night on patrol

by Asheru



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-16
Updated: 2011-07-16
Packaged: 2017-10-21 11:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/224570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asheru/pseuds/Asheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alpha Gate's Buffy/SG badfic challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another night on patrol

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd. All the blame's my own.

"This was your idea, Jack – what's with the wicked jumpy?" asked Sam, Sunnydale's substitute Slayerette, as they patrolled the cemetery.

"What wicked jumper?" (that's sweater, for the US audience) said Jack, looking down at his suitably sinister pseudo-military secret Initiative uniform. His infrared eyepiece winked red in the night – which was, of course, as black as pitch. Perfect night to be out with the Scooby Gang (so THAT's what "SG1" stands for).

"Daniel, watch out for the…" Jack shot out his newly grafted on techno-enhanced arm (with added functions including egg whisk and can opener), saving Daniel just in time from the yawning mouth of an open grave. It took a lot to impress a grave in Sunnydale.

Daniel, unperturbed, carried on reading the huge tome he was carrying, lit by a small torch tucked behind one beautiful ear.

"What are you reading anyway?" said Jack irritably.

"Magic Shop's book of home spells – it's way cool," said Daniel, before winding himself cruelly on a gravestone. Why did those things come up to waist height anyway?

"Pathetic, much?" said Sam, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Enough with the backseat mothering," wheezed Daniel, pouting. He picked the book up and resumed reading. "Hey, there's a whole section on Making the Powers That Be improve your dialogue. Wow."

"Give me that," said Jack, attempting to grab the book. Daniel held on surprisingly tightly, and in a hitherto unsuspected moment of sneakiness, pressed the button turning Jack's arm into a bicycle pump.

"Guys, guys, we're supposed to be concentrating on the Evil Dead – you know, the Nasty Pointy-Bitey Ones? As in, three of them, behind you?" said Sam, tossing back her blonde hair extensions.

Jack pumped a gust of air into Daniel's ear, causing him to jump a foot in the air and drop the book.

"Guys! Get a room!!" said Sam, hand on hip.

Jack reluctantly let go of Daniel, turning to face the three hulking former college football players, who were licking their lips in anticipation.

"Which one of you ladies wants to dance?" said Jack, his arm blurring through bike pump to that thing in Swiss army knives that you're supposed to use to fillet fish. Or get stones out of horses' hooves. Or clean your toenails.

"So THAT's what that's for," said Sam, "I've always wondered."

Daniel neatly stepped out of the way as the three vamps launched themselves at Jack and Sam. Retrieving the book, he lent provocatively up against a tree, turning the pages until he found his place. A tangled ball of dead and undead flesh rolled past him, cursing. Just at that moment, Teal'c (standing in for the helpful but dim Xander) appeared through the gloom, hand in hand with Janet (retired Vengeance demon and main squeeze).

"Are you in need of assistance, DanielJackson?" asked Teal'c, unerringly threat assessing the situation as usual. Sam streaked past them, staking the first football vamp close enough to shower Daniel with dust.

"Back to the reserve bench for you!" yelled Sam, brandishing Mr Pointy Stick in triumph before rushing back to join the fun. Jack was down to his last vamp and was making it last.

Daniel brushed the dust off the book. "Yeah, can you hold my torch? There's something I want to try."

Teal'c held the torch aloft, looking strangely like the statue of liberty, only black and without the dress. Daniel started translating one of the spells out loud (a very very silly thing to do).

"Er, Daniel" said Janet, "I've got a bad feeling about this." Daniel noted with interest that she had begun to glow a luminescent green.

"Trust me, this isn't going to hurt," said Daniel unconvincingly. Janet started to vibrate like a bowl of green Jello on a washing machine in mid spin cycle before falling down the back into the 5th dimension. A rather bored looking demon in a neon pink lounge suit and snakeskin boots appeared in her place.

"Welcome to the Hell mouth's Karaoke of Truth," said the demon.

"Karaoke, I love Karaoke," said Jack, casually producing a microphone from his many attachments. Looking soulfully at Daniel (who was still lounging provocatively against that tree, despite cramp in one leg), Jack started to sing "Endless Love." Sam and Teal'c moved up to stand either side of Jack, adding the backing vocals. Moments later, a chorus of vamps, demons and other creatures from the underworld burst into song.

Daniel smirked. The things a guy had to do to get a little appreciation around here…


End file.
